Truth In Satire

New Evidence Emerges That President Is White House “Leaker”

As Mr. Trump oozed profusely during an Oval Office meeting, a swampy orange goop surrounded the private residence

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The White House over the weekend floating in a sea of leaked orange POTUS-gunk. (Credit:

resident Donald Trump’s attempt to blame “horrible Nancy Pelosi” for leaks coming out of the White House backfired on Tuesday when he began to ooze a bright orange liquid during a meeting with aides in the Oval Office.

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The president is usually able to limit the flow of his citrus-like secretions. (Credit:

“It was bizarre, for sure,” said one staffer who was in the meeting at the time. “One minute the president was railing about border security, the next he was seeping orange gloop from his pores onto the floor. No question, he’s leaking.”

Another aide who was sitting near the president when he leaked said, “I had some suspicions it was the president but didn’t know for sure until that moment when my shoes were engulfed in his reddish-yellow muck. At this point, I wouldn’t even say he’s leaking, I’d say he’s gushing.”

Just this past week, the president tweeted that “leakers are traitors and cowards.” However, his own leaking, witnessed by at least a half dozen people, makes it difficult now for Mr. Trump to plug those leaks, unless he is willing to shut himself down.

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This is the face that Donald Trump makes when he’s leaking. (Credit:

“I don’t see how he can make the White House leak-proof when he is so porous himself,” said a top staffer in the communications office, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “We’ve all seen spurts and dribbles coming out of the president from time to time, but never to this degree. It’s just not at the point anymore where he can stem the flow of leakage.”

Despite many in the White House saying that an anti-leak campaign within the administration must start with the president himself, Mr. Trump threatened on Tuesday “to fire a few dozen people around here unless this leaky business stops.”

The president then resumed his phone call with tight-lipped confidante, FOX’s Sean Hannity.


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