Allan Ishac’s Naked Satire

Nation’s Children To Trump: “Please Stop Freaking Us Out, We Can’t Sleep!”

Plea comes as commander in chief ominously teases “a storm is coming” during White House photo op with military leaders

During a photo op, the president said, “These are the thumbs that will soon launch a nuclear weapon.” The reckless comment frightened children across America. (Credit:

America’s youngest citizens are appealing to President Trump to dispense with the unnerving threats of nuclear war and global Armageddon and send them more hopeful messages about their fragile futures.

The plea comes after another one of the president’s doomful statements Thursday night, moments after he and the first lady hosted the nation’s top generals and their wives for dinner, when he cryptically called the gathering “…the calm before the storm.” The comment left many Americans scratching their heads and their children soiling themselves.

Many children report that Donald Trump’s face gives them nightmares. (Credit:

“On Thursday night, the president irresponsibly mouthed words at a photo shoot that were unnerving to the nation, especially to our children,” said Dr. Angela Farkel, Chief of Psychiatry at Boston’s Children Hospital. “Children are very sensitive to their parents’ reaction to this president, and when adults in the room become nervous, or swear uncontrollably at the TV, as they surely did last night, children can become panicky, even pee or poop in their pants…right alongside their parents.”

A brother and sister from FL watching the president’s unhinged Charlottesville press conference in August. (Credit:

Speaking further about Mr. Trump’s frequent habit of provoking world leaders with menacing tweets, Dr. Farkel said, “Maybe he doesn’t realize that creating a media frenzy, and stirring the global wasp’s nest, while meeting his own infantile needs for attention, leave children believing that their small, fragile world is threatened. They hear this oddly-colored man saying frightening things and suddenly they are losing sleep, unable to focus in school, many doubled over with agonizing fits of existential anxiety.”

Dr. Farkel’s observations are supported by pediatric psychologists, who say that they have never seen such a high rate of worry, depression, and acting out behavior in children. They contend that children age 10 and younger are particularly likely to suffer emotional trauma when exposed to erratic, reckless, and unstable authority figures like Donald Trump.They agree that since he became president, America’s children are falling apart.

“The president’s inappropriate political speech at the Boy Scout jamboree this past summer was a great example of how he seems totally oblivious to the impact he is having on our young, how rattled he can leave them,” said Dr. Manick Mundae, of Johns Hopkins Children’s Center in Maryland. “The kids were there to have fun and explore their pyromania with other boys and, suddenly, this loud, obnoxious politician shows up trying to rally them against Barack Obama, the Girl Scouts, and the North Koreans. It was unconscionable, and we had clinical workers there for days trying to soothe the boys. I can tell you this — President Trump was never an Eagle Scout. More like a dodo bird, if you ask me.”

Dr. Farkel perhaps expressed best what Mr. Trump’s impulsive remarks, mercurial behavior, and careless actions are doing to the nervous systems of our young.

“The president has triggered a national mental health crisis among America’s children, and the damage he’s doing will take years and a lot of ice cream therapy to correct.”


Thanks all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

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Thank you.


Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at

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