Truth In Satire

Morgan Freeman’s Million Dollar Vocal Chords Ask For Exemption On Sex Charges

Actor’s iconic voice, insisting it was not involved in his sexual harassment case, sues for the right to keep earning

Should a voice be responsible for the sexual misconduct of the man it speaks for? No, says Morgan Freeman’s vocal chords. (Credit: time.com)

The famous voice heard in beloved movies like The Shawshank Redemption, Bruce Almighty, March of the Penguins and War of the Worlds is demanding that it have the right to keep working even after the man who uses it, Morgan Freeman, was accused by several women of sexual harassment.

As God, Mr. Freeman’s voice soothed many a soul. (Credit: www.curbed.com)

“I was never involved in any of the inappropriate touching incidents that Mr. Freeman has been accused of,” said Morgan Freeman’s million dollar vocal chords in a characteristically smooth, soothing tone. “As a result, I believe I should be able to continue working even while the investigation into his bad behavior continues.”

It is estimated that Mr. Freeman’s voice, recently voted the most iconic voice of all time, earns more than $25 million a year, while the actor himself earns about $10 million for his movie performances.