Merci, Alain.

Alain is my name in French, at least according to my 7th Grade French teacher, Mrs. Willens. What a bitch. Hated her.

Oh, Alain, don’t look now, but do you know that there is a pirate over your right shoulder? If I were you, I would move very, very slowly to your left. When you get about three feet away, RUN!

Thanks, Alain. Bon journee.

–AI (Alain Ishac)

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at