Truth In Satire

Major Windbag Poised To Meet Massive Windstorm

In show of bravado, President Trump says he’ll confront Hurricane Irma as she makes landfall near his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida

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President Trump says he can blow as much hot air, and do as much damage, as Irma can. (Credit: azcentral.com and fictionnews.com)

President Donald Trump says that he plans to meet Hurricane Irma face-to-face when she makes first landfall in the United States on Saturday, close to his Mar-a-Lago resort.

“I’m the leader of our nation,” the president told reporters in Washington on Thursday, “and I’m ready to make a deal with the big girl to keep her away from my winter White House and the rest of Florida. As you know, no one makes better deals than me.”

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The president says he’ll be at Mar-a-Lago when Irma hits, and “I plan to give her a taste of a Category 5 Trump storm.” (Credit: golfholidayreviews.com)

Although the Category 5 storm is being called “potentially catastrophic by The National Hurricane Center, the president still says he has a responsibility to meet Irma head on, a confrontation some are calling reckless.

One person in Trump’s inner circle, speaking off the record, said: “While it would be incredibly inspiring to see the president go mano a mano with those 185 mph gusts, it’s just an unnecessary risk. The president could be injured or his toupee could be blown all the way to Cuba. With his poll numbers as low as they are, he just doesn’t need that kind of humiliation.”

But other Trump advisers disagree, feeling that if the president can prevail in a challenge with Irma, convincing her to alter her path and move out to sea, he’d be viewed as tough, fearless, even superhuman.

“Mr. Trump thinks this might be his best opportunity to reverse a failing presidency,” said one confidante who speaks with the president daily, “and he very much likes his chances with difficult women, even harsh, cruel ones like Irma. Worst case scenario, he gets some positive press, big crowds, and sells a few hundred thousand of those great campaign hats.”

The president is expected to leave for Florida late Friday afternoon accompanied by his two sons, Donald Jr. and Eric Trump, who will be used as human dikes to help protect the president’s Mar-a-Lago property.

Author’s Note: I have been criticized in the past week for making light of the destructive and deadly hurricanes that have hit the United States. It’s true, I’ll try to find humor in anything and I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone. That said, if you must sandbag your home against floodwaters, it is best to stack Republicans in the path of the surge because they are heavier, thicker, and less likely to budge.

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is out of our hair.

I read every comment. And I try to answer as many as possible.

Thank you.

–AI

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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