Truth In Satire

Major News Organizations Agree To Ignore Everything President Says Going Forward

“As a collective body, we will no longer cover anything Donald Trump says, tweets, draws, or scribbles, because it’s all nonsense”

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President Poppycock will no longer have the attention of credible news organizations. (Credit: cnbc.com)

Major news organizations in the United States and around the world have signed an accord calling for them to collectively cease giving coverage to anything that President Donald Trump says, tweets, reads from a cheat sheet, or draws with crayons.

The extraordinary move is necessary, they maintain, to prevent their readers, listeners, and viewers from thinking that anything the president says is of value or is to be taken seriously.

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“Wawawa wawa North Korea, wawaaa wawa guns, wawawaa wawa wawa Obama…” (Credit:npr.org)

“At this point it has become a matter of national security to cease covering this moron,” said Noah Oppenheim, the president of NBC News. “Everything that comes out of his mouth is either a lie, a parroting of N.R.A. or ultra-conservative propaganda, or so insane it could start a world war. He has nothing consequential or intelligent to offer on any subject, and since it’s all of zero merit, the responsible thing to do is just to ignore him.”

A.G. Sulzberger, publisher of The New York Times, expressed similar sentiments: “We can no longer report on the antics of a clown. It sends the wrong message to our readers, especially young people who need to learn the difference between a bombastic blowhard blurting out gibberish and credible journalism.”

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“Look, I signed something. Not sure what it is, but isn’t my signature big!?” (Credit: Breitbart.com)

Fox News, the Washington Examiner, the Breitbart News Network, and other ultra-conservative media organizations say, however, that they will continue to cover the president’s flapdoodle.

“This is the President of the United States, and like him or not, the American people deserve to hear his dunderheaded ramblings unedited,” said Sean Hannity, a Fox fake newscaster and supporter of Mr. Trump’s. “Besides, the ratings for his imbecilic drivel is off the charts.”

Major news organizations participating in the international boycott of everything that comes out of Mr. Trump’s mouth say their prohibition on presidential coverage will begin immediately.

“We should have done this years ago,” concluded NBC’s Oppenheim.

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.

–AI

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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