Truth In Satire

RBG To Be Retrofitted With Bionic Body Parts In Mad Scramble To Keep Her Alive

In wake of Justice Kennedy’s retirement, Democrats are financing a complete overhaul of reliable liberal judge Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Justice Ginsburg will undergo several state-of-the-art “bionic upgrades” this summer that could keep her on the high court indefinitely. (Credit: http://www.foxnews.com)

After the sudden resignation on Wednesday of the Supreme Court’s influential swing judge, Justice Anthony Kennedy, a desperate effort is underway to retrofit the aging Ruth Bader Ginsburg with the most advanced bionic body parts available.

Many expect RBG to walk away from her bionic upgrades able to take out Chief Justice John Roberts with one twitch of her bicep. (Credit: www.dailybreak.com)

“It is now critical that we keep RBG alive long after her body fails, at least another four to six years,” said Senator Chuck Schumer, the Democratic minority leader. “Roe v. Wade, gay rights, any hope for serious gun control, all are at risk if we lose this reliable liberal judge from the Supreme Court. Ginsburg cannot die now.”

Sen. Schumer said that his Democratic caucus have reached out to progressive tech titans in Silicon Valley, as well as forward-looking executives in the medical industry, to come up with scientific advances that will keep Justice Ginsburg performing her judicial duties…