Truth In Satire

Legal Experts Say Trump Presidency Has Prompted Millions To Draw Up Last Wills

It took president only six months to induce Americans to take an end-of-life action that estate lawyers have encouraged for decades

Millions of Americans are acting on advice that lawyers have been pushing for generations, but that Donald Trump’s dangerous presidency finally got them to act upon: drawing up a will.

“We kept letting it slip for years,” said Malcolm Collier, a pharmaceutical salesman in Peoria, IL who, with his wife Gail, a dermatologist, had not considered a will to be of importance until now. “With Trump taking the country to the brink of annihilation, we thought it was probably prudent to draw up some kind of last will. Gail and I decided that we just don’t want to die without some legal safeguards, some enduring protections.”

The Colliers aren’t alone. Estate lawyers across the country say that there has been a surge of young couples, baby boomers, and recent retirees streaming into their offices desperate for assistance in making end-of-life plans and drawing up the appropriate legal documents.

“I haven’t seen this much interest in making a will or establishing trusts since the Chernobyl disaster in 1986 and the Cuban Missile Crisis before that,” said longtime estate attorney, Lance Albright, who practices in the wealthy community of Ridgewood, NJ. “This probably sounds a little self-serving, but Trump has been great for the death document business. I can’t keep up with the demand for end-of-life planning services since Trump became president.”

Mr. Albright’s office offers an “End-of-Life Checklist” for those who can’t sleep at night due to Donald Trump’s precarious presidency and who may want to get a jump on Personal Wills, Advance Directive Forms, Digital Estate Laws, Organ Donation Registries, Probate, and more.

“You can still be a patriotic American and support the president even if he scares the bejesus out of you and prompts you to take an action you should have taken years ago anyway,” says lawyer Albright. “Consider this a gesture of caring for his people, an invaluable motivator on the part of the president that will encourage Americans everywhere to take necessary actions as he flirts with Armageddon. I, for one, am grateful to the president.”


Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is out of our hair.

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