Kellyanne Conway’s To Do List For November 9th
1 min readNov 8, 2016
- Shower, shower, shower
- Unfriend Rudy on FB
- Let Ivanka know what I really think
- Resume Tuesday night bridge game with Donna Brazile, Jill Biden, Madonna
- Apologize to family, explain I was only kidding
- Ask Steve Schmidt about possible MSNBC job
- Have affair with Joe Scarborough
- Have affair with Rachel Maddow
- Have affair with Chris Matthews
- Tell girls at country club I was just kidding
- Get smell of Don’s cologne off my clothes
- Leak story to NY Times about Trump org paying off other 263 ‘gropees’
- Host SNL, make Bruce musical guest
- Tell asshole Curt Schilling to stop calling me
- Drop kids at school, tell other parents it was all big joke
- Pick up nasty woman t-shirt from Sam Bee
- Make Melania promise she’ll take Barron to therapy
- Let lawn guy (Hector/Jorge??) know I don’t agree with DT
- Drop 12 dozen leftover Trump caps at Goodwill
- Call lawyer to sue Don for $150k in unpaid invoices
- Sleep till fucking Friday
