Truth In Satire

Jew Lawyers Turn Out For Roy Moore After Learning He Uses A Jew Attorney

Wife of Alabama Senate candidate also says they employ “a Mexican gardener and Negro handyman, so we can’t be racist”

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Kayla Moore issues their anti-Semitism defense as Judge Moore scans the crowd for potential underage female victims. (Credit: theguardian.com)

In a campaign rally on the eve of a hotly contested special election in Alabama for U.S. Senate, Kayla Moore came to the defense of her husband who many contend is an anti-Semite, a racist, a misogynist, and a child molester.

The candidate’s wife declared in a combative tone, “…I just want to set the record straight …One of our attorneys is a Jew. We have very close friends who are doily wearers and rabbies.”

The emphatic statement seemed to win over a few Jewish members of the Alabama Bar Association who said the judge had always been “equally dismissive when hearing our arguments in court compared with those of Christian attorneys.”

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Former Trump adviser Steve Bannon says the Moores are “no more anti-Semitic or racist than I am!” (Credit: rawstory.com)

On charges of racism against her husband — based on years of bigoted comments, including a recent remark Roy Moore made that America was great during slavery — Mrs. Moore called them absurd and unfair. “How can you be a racist when you have a Mexican gardener and a well-mannered Negro handyman? We regularly invite both Jose and Lucas into our home for lemonade whenever the temperature gets above 105º. Below that, they’re welcome to use the hose.”

Kayla Moore saved her strongest words, however, for those who say her husband is a child molester and misogynist with a history of abusing young girls.

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Many point to the halo over Moore’s head as proof that he’s a man of God and not a molester of girls. (Credit: motherjones.com)

“When I hear these accusations I just laugh. Because no one is more kind to teenage girls than Roy. Why on any given afternoon you can stop by the Moore residence and see a cheerleader type or two sitting down with Roy for tea in our kitchen or locked in the basement with him watching a movie or listening to some contemporary music. Roy loves teenage girls and anybody who says otherwise hasn’t seen the way he bounces them on his knee.”

The special election for U.S. Senate in Alabama will be held Tuesday, November 12th and the Moore campaign is expecting that Jew lawyers will turn out in droves of five or six. Hispanics and Afro-American voters are also being encouraged to head to the polls with the Moore camp using volunteers from a neo-Nazi skinhead group to provide free transportation.

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.

–AI

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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