Truth In Satire

Jeopardy Champ Enters Presidential Race As “Genius Party” Candidate

Game show winner James Holzhauer hopes to “grab the Mensa vote away from fake geniuses” in 2020 contest

Allan Ishac

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Jeopardy champion Holzhauer has political ambitions for 2020. (jeopardy.com)

History-making ‘Jeopardy!’ Champion James Holzhauer has announced his candidacy for the 2020 presidential race, registering under the “Genius Party.”

The big money winner, who has already raked in $1.69 million as a contestant on the popular game show, hopes to be a “disrupter” in the upcoming political contest by “grabbing the Mensa vote away from the current president and other so-called ‘geniuses,’” said Holzhauer on Tuesday.

In addition to becoming a Hall of Famer, Holzhauer wants to become a “moron tamer,” apparently a reference to the current president. (Credit: www.deseretnews.com)

The Mensa Society is the largest and oldest high IQ society in the world. One must be a “verified genius” to become a member, not a fake genius like the moron currently occupying the White House.

Asked about the political positions he hopes to campaign on, Holzhauer named a few:

  • Eliminating taxes on casino winnings (Holzhauer is a professional gambler)
  • Eliminating income taxes in Nevada (Holzhauer lives in Las Vegas)
  • Doubling the tax deduction for charitable gifts (Holzhauer is donating a portion of his winnings to The Las Vegas Natural History Museum)
  • Reducing the cost of tickets to the U.S. Open Tennis tournament (Holzhauer is buying courtside tickets for his tennis-loving parents)

Asked why his campaign focus seems so self-serving, Holzhauer replied, “What’s good for me is good for America. Trust me, I’m a genius.”

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Find more humor from me at allanishac.com.

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Allan Ishac
Allan Ishac

Written by Allan Ishac

Author of The Mystic In The Mews (themysticinthemews.com). Satirist. Humor writer. Former advertising creative director. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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