Ivanka, Eric and Don Jr. Decide To Remove Trump Name From Their Birth Certificates

Inspired by the residents of three NYC apartment complexes, the siblings say the move will help eliminate any conflicts of interest

Donald Trump’s three eldest children decided that their famous last name would impede fair business dealings and insisted that changing it had nothing to do with concerns about being the target of apoplectic liberal assassins.

Claiming that they don’t want their last name to unduly influence clients who might want to do business with them in the future, the three Trump children have started legal proceedings to have their famous father’s surname removed from their birth certificates.

Despite her insistence that she has no fear of New Yorkers furious about the election results, Ivanka was seen walking with a baby-shaped bullet proof vest yesterday.

“We don’t want our business associates to feel any extra pressure in negotiating with us because we’re the president’s children,” said Ivanka who spoke from the lobby of Trump Tower along with her two siblings who were frequently looking over their shoulders. “This will help us keep an even playing field and avoid conflicts of interest.”

Asked if the unexpected move had anything to do with the fact that the president-elect’s family is receiving constant death threats and none of them can safely venture farther than the heavily-secured lobby of their father’s signature building, Donald Jr. said, “Absolutely not…