Truth In Satire

IT’S OFFICIAL: Melania Out, Hannity Chosen As Trump’s New First Lady

After reports that the president was scheming to replace his wife, the Fox talk show host lobbied heavily for the job

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Sean Hannity says he’s thrilled to be named America’s new First Lady. (Credit: onenewsnow.com)

peculation that President Donald Trump was eager to replace the First Lady with someone who was more loyal to him and willing to hold his hand in public became reality on Sunday when the president named Sean Hannity, a conservative talk show host, to take the place of his current wife.

“The president is delighted to announce his marriage to someone he both trusts and listens to daily,” a smiling White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders told reporters over the weekend. “They say that behind every successful president there stands a fake journalist willing to forfeit his reputation and career to prop up a faux POTUS…and that’s certainly true in this case.”

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The president and his lovely bride, Sean Hannity, in the White House Rose Garden. (Credit:Paula Coyle/Pinterest)

Sean Hannity has his own eponymous talk show on the Fox network, which is dedicated mostly to defending President Trump’s positions no matter how absurd, controversial, or dangerous. Mr. Hannity is also known to use his on-air time to stroke the president’s ego and give him outlandish ideas about how to lead from the racist right.

Mr. Trump gets his most controversial tweets by quoting Mr. Hannity directly, a regular habit that should be made even easier now that the two men are sleeping together. The White House notes that the president’s middle of the night Twitter activity, an irritating routine for which he has become famous, should increase now that the newlyweds will be fondling each other’s thoughts at all hours.

While Washington insiders and media analysts say that the union of the politician and the pundit seemed unlikely, particularly given the aversion to homosexuality professed by both men, President Trump has said many times that he likes to shock and surprise people and these nuptials have definitely left leaders on both sides of the aisle scratching their heads.

It remains to be seen if the American voting public will embrace this “fusion” of two eccentric and unpredictable sodomizers, but their wedding was a top ratings getter on all the major cable networks.

No word yet on a honeymoon destination for the two lovebirds, but insiders say that a romantic April getaway in Paris or the Crimean peninsula is likely.

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is out of our hair.

I read every comment. And I try to answer as many as possible.

Thank you.

–AI

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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