Truth In Satire

In Support Of Trump’s Racist Agenda, GOP Changes Name To “RepubliKlan Party”

Party leaders, initially in crisis over president’s support of white supremacists, decide to embrace his bigoted ideas in bold way

Republican leaders Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan say to president “Fuck it, we’re going in white racist with you all the way.” (Credit: NYmagazine.com)

Congressional Republicans, briefly thrown into disarray by President Trump’s endorsement of white supremacists in Charlottesville, VA last week, have regrouped in full-throated support of the president.

In fact, majority leader in the Senate, Mitch McConnell, and Republican House Speaker Paul Ryan have spearheaded a campaign to change the name of their party to “RepubliKlan” — an effort that received a unanimous vote from their caucuses during a special vote over the weekend.

The RepubliKlan Party is introducing variations on its well-known elephant graphic to promote its new racist themes. (Credit: flickrhivemind.net and transgriot.blogspot.com)

“I’m thrilled to report that Republican senators stand firmly with the president in his effort to embrace a fringe but critical element of our party’s base, namely Ku Klux Klan members, neo-Nazis, ultra-right wing fascists, and white supremacists of every stripe,” said Mr. McConnell. “As it has become apparent that the future of our party lies in pandering to this tenacious, racist horde, we’re proud to announce our name change to the ‘RepubliKlan Party.’”

For the 2018 mid-term election cycle, the RepubliKlans will be marching out their elephant mascot “Klux”for big campaign events. (Credit: hauntedohiobooks.com)

The name change, which involves only a slight spelling modification as the party platform is already primarily racist and elitist, will be implemented immediately.

Congressman Paul Ryan, who has been leaning ultra-fascist for some time, as he has telegraphed with his smug, shit-eating grin (see above) since the 1990's, concurred with Sen. McConnell on the need to make the appellation move now.

“We clearly won the presidency with the help of the far right segment of our party, and we want them to know how much we deeply respect and deeply fear them,” said Mr. Ryan. “By clearly showing them that we are “Klan-positive,” we hope they will help our party terrorize the nation into another presidential election win in 2020.”

Mr. Ryan went further saying that with nearly 20% of Republicans believing that Abraham Lincoln was wrong to end slavery, “it’s time to embrace the regressive ideas of the past that we wrongly abandoned 150 years ago.”

Speaking for Democrats, Senator Chuck Schumer, the minority leader, said he couldn’t see any benefit to the Republicans in adding the word “klan” to their name. However, he went on to say that “we are super excited to see the RepubliKlans self-implode in this way. They’ve really put the “k” back in krazy this time, and we plan to help them promote their new name in whatever way we can. This will certainly be a bi-partisan effort.”

New ads for the RepubliKlan party will roll out this fall featuring “Klux,” their beloved elephant mascot, who will be draped in a white sheet in keeping with a valued KKK tradition.

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.

–AI

P.S. Thanks to reader Craig Michaels for planting the seeds for this post.

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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