Truth In Satire

In Effort To Assist Scotland Yard, Trump Tweets Location Of Bombing Suspects

President used reports from U.S. intelligence agencies to “help lazy Brits get more proactive and nasty with loser terrorists”

President Trump, shortly after he botched a Scotland Yard investigation by carelessly tweeting the location of the suspected bombers. (Credit: www.nbcnews.com)

President Donald Trump infuriated British officials on Friday morning by tweeting the location of terror suspects wanted in the bombing of a London Underground tube train earlier in the day that injured 29 people.

He had gleaned the sensitive security information from classified reports he’d received just moments before from U.S. intelligence agents in communication with Scotland Yard.

The president’s ill-timed tweets apparently tipped off the assailants who fled their flat in southeast London just moments before police arrived.

PM Theresa May told aides privately that she thought Donald Trump should lose his cell phone privileges. (Credit: dailymail.co.uk)

“Their cigarettes were still burning in the ashtray and they had some falafels warming on the stove, so we obviously just missed the blokes,” said Inspector Raymond Meade of Scotland Yard. “Trump, that wanker, is really making it hard for us to do our jobs here and is endangering Londoners.”

UK Prime Minister Theresa May publicly scolded Mr. Trump in comments she made later in the day, calling his tweets “unhelpful,” and adding that the president’s “knee-jerk posts impeded a critical law enforcement investigation at a pivotal moment.”

The president, in a barrage of Friday afternoon Twitter messages, was clearly irritated by the reaction of British officials, particularly that of Ms. May, posting:

Forensic experts inspecting the tube train near the Parsons Green station in London.(Credit: livemint.com)

“Tried to help Scotland Yard today get much tougher on sick, demented terrorists…instead of thank you, I get nasty response from PM May. Not good. Next time, no help from me.”

In response to President Trump’s diplomatic blunder and late day tweet, a spokesman for Prime Minister May said, “We’d be very happy if Mr. Trump stayed out of Britain’s domestic security affairs, because we need the U.S. president’s help like we need another bucket of explosives in the Underground.”

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Thanks all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.

–AI

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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