Truth In Satire

ICE Changes Name To “NICE” After Public Outrage Over Family Separations

Agency hopes new acronym after name change to “National Immigration & Customs Enforcement” will improve tarnished image

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Add an “N” and this scene changes entirely. (Credit: sanjoseinside.com)

he Immigration & Customs Enforcement agency or ICE has been on the front lines of the Trump administration’s inhumane effort to tear immigrant families apart at the southern border.

As a way to improve its damaged reputation after weeks of negative publicity, the Immigration & Customs Enforcement agency is changing its name to “National Immigration & Customs Enforcement,” with the new acronym “NICE.”

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ICE Director Thomas Homan says throwing children into detention centers without their parents will be much nicer in the future. (Credit: http://inthesetimes.com)

“The name ICE gave off the impression that we were cold and heartless, perfectly happy to rip babies away from their parents,” said outgoing ICE Director Thomas Homan. “By adding ‘National’ to our name and making ourselves ‘NICE,’ we have now become warm and fuzzy, loving and friendly. I think this is going to go a long way to changing the public’s perception about our agency as we continue to tear families apart and lock up infants and toddlers.”

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ICE officers will soon be wearing bulletproof vests that say NICE, in effort to appear friendlier. (Credit:http://geopoliticsalert.com)

While many are calling the name change nothing but a hollow attempt to sway public opinion without any real shift in the agency’s reprehensible, callous practices, President Donald Trump weighed in with a positive reaction:

“I love the new acronym,” said the president, “and I already feel differently about these brave men and women at NICE jailing immigrant babies. I think Ivanka and Melania are going to agree that this nice move will make everyone down there at the border so much happier, especially the kids, and finally get them off my back.”

The name change is effective immediately but it is not known how long it will be before NICE agents alter their cold-hearted behavior to match the new moniker, if ever.

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

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–AI

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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