News from London

I Offered To Stand In For Meghan’s Dad At The Royal Wedding, But It Didn’t Work Out

With Thomas Markle falling ill, I thought I’d be the ideal American substitute to walk his daughter down the aisle

These two bobbies were not impressed with my offer to help out Meghan at the royal wedding.

I heard rumors that they were looking for an older American gentleman to take over for Thomas Markle after he bowed out of the royal wedding due to a heart condition.

As luck would have it, I’m here in London on vacation and thought I’d be the ideal stand-in for Meghan’s Dad as I’m not really doing anything on Saturday and I don’t feel intimidated by crowds.

With Thomas down, I knew I had to go into action!

With this in mind, I moseyed over to Buckingham Palace on Thursday afternoon to speak to Harry and Meghan and let them know I was available.

It was going really well as I headed over to the seat of British royal power in bright sunshine on a perfect spring day. I felt certain that as soon as the Royal Family saw me they would recognize my potential as a refined escort for Meghan, the Queen would thank me personally for my service, and I’d get fitted for my tuxedo…