Hi Sam,

You don’t know that I’m a stupid Dick.

Only my friends, colleagues, and family know that.

And, yes, I do get paid to write this “do they what an asshole” stuff.

In fact, I got paid $28,654 to write the post you read. I actually only receive a dollar per post, but I got an additonal $28,653 because Medium pays extra to writers who can attract trolls who include “stupid Dick,” “asshole,” or “cocksucker” in their responses.

Would you mind writing me back and calling me a “cocksucker?” I’ll collect another $12,353 if you do.

Thanks, Sam. Glad to have you as a new, paying reader!

–AI

P.S. You should start posting your own work, instead of just stalking others. I’m sure you could get some people to send you “stupid Dick,” “asshole,” or “cocksucker” comments. Cash in, brother! And thanks again, Sam. Don’t be a stranger.

Written by

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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