Hi Chris,

Thank you for your short letter and for being my biggest fan.

Just a couple of quick corrections: Whiny is spelled as such, and I would have gone for 100% faggoty bitch, anyway, because the impact would have been much greater.

I know you meant snuffling little cunt because cunts can’t snivel but they can snuffle.

I have tried fucking myself since I was a hormone-jacked teenager. No luck there. And I beg to differ on my accomplishments, because I got Janice Bellmutter to sleep with me and I was the only one in my fraternity who did so!

What I didn’t know was that Janice Bellmutter had AIDS, which is why none of the other guys would sleep with her. And now I have it. So you got your wish there.

I do thank you for reading my post, Chris, and I was pleased it got you so inspired that you felt the need to write me. Your comment really left me McLaffing.

Stop by more often. You’re a good guy with a great feeling for obscenity. Something we share.

–AI

Written by

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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