Hi Atomsk,

I am kind of embarrassed that you noticed my teeth. I’ve even filed them down a bit so they wouldn’t be so obvious.

But, anyway, to be clear, I am not a vampire. I am actually a vetala. Vetalas are serpent-like vampiric creatures that have adapted to appear human. So that’s why in the photo I’m wearing a cardigan sweater to cover up the serpent scales on my chest.

I sedate my victims with venom and feed off of their blood over a number of days, usually killing them by the fourth feeding. While I am eating, my snake-like eyes and four pointed fangs tend to be exposed. I can’t help it, it’s an involuntary response.

Just, FYI, I can be killed if you stab me in the heart with a silver knife and twist it, at which point I will revert to my true serpent form — whether I’m wearing a cardigan or not.

Just curious, you don’t own a silver knife, do you?

Thanks for reading my post, Atomsk, and also for invoking the city of Zion from the Matrix movies. How awesome was that trilogy?!

–AI

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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