Truth In Satire

Get The Original “Trumpy Bear” Before The Release Of “Trumpy Bear: Prison Edition”

There’s still time to order your limited edition stuffed POTUS bear before it gets its prison stripes for a complete jailbird makover

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Grope its hair, its little paws, its plush and pudgy body. (Credit: thewrap.com)

You’ve seen it advertised on TV and now you can get your very own Trumpy Bear — the super-plush, 22-inch stuffed bruin that looks just like POTUS45 — for only two payments of $19.95 while supplies last.

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These silly idiots are cuddling Trumpy Bear and combing his orange hair. (Credit: truthfeednews.com)

But, hurry, you must order today before the original Trumpy Bear is replaced by “Trumpy Bear: Prison Edition.” Yes, the moment the final indictments are announced by special counsel Robert Mueller’s office in the weeks ahead, the cute little red tie and corporate cuff-links will be substituted with your choice of a black-and-white, prison stripes tee-shirt or a federally-issued orange jumpsuit — and handcuffs, of course!

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This great patriot enjoys a round of golf with his Trumpy Bear. (youtube.com)

The original Trumpy Bear has been selling as fast as POTUS45’s inauguration tickets, especially with the cozy flag-themed blanket stuffed inside its zippered neck pouch.

But that lush flag blanket will soon be replaced with unwashed bed sheets tied together, so you can play a realistic game of “prison break” with jailbird Trumpy Bear. We’ll even update original Trumpy Bear’s beloved, orange combover with a matted tangle of straw to simulate POTUS’ dirty, but much deserved, stay behind bars.

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For a burst of machismo, every Harley owner should have a Trumpy Bear riding shotgun. (Credit: environnews.tv)

Don’t miss this final chance to show your patriotism by purchasing this collectible Trumpy Bear stuffed animal, complete with a bonus Certificate of Authenticity (jailbird Trumpy Bear will arrive with a sealed indictment listing POTUS45’s impeachable crimes!).

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War veterans have enjoyed placing original Trumpy Bear over their penises. (Credit: youtube.com)

Don’t wait, order now to get the original Trumpy Bear — consisting of a 22-inch tall POTUS45 stuffed animal, a 28-by-30-inch American flag blanket stored in a zippered pouch inside Trumpy’s neck, and a valuable certificate proving this is a real product — all for only two installments of $19.95.

Note: NRA members enjoy a 10% discount. Residents of red states where Donald Trump won the 2016 presidential election by 20 points or more will also receive a 10% discount. Blue state residents will be charged a 30% premium. Act now and preorder the original Trumpy Bear, along with Trumpy Bear: Prison Edition, for a complete set of collectible Trumpy Bears. Visit our website today!

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is out of our hair.

I read every comment. And I try to answer as many as possible.

Thank you.

–AI

Written by

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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