Truth In Satire

Fourth Client Of Michael Cohen’s Revealed To Be Muscular Enforcer Baraka The Gorilla

Ape at National Zoo could be mixed up with Cohen and President Trump in acts of intimidation against tenants in their rental buildings

Cohen might have used Baraka to threaten enemies of the president. (Credit: www.flickr.com/photos/hilton_photos/2870975870)

It was revealed in federal court on Wednesday that President Donald Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, has a fourth secret client.

After Federal judge Kimba Wood ordered Mr. Cohen to disclose the name of all his clients — which so far have included President Trump, Republican fundraiser Elliott Broidy, and Fox TV’s fake news host Sean Hannity — the president’s fixer admitted he has a fourth client, Baraka, a 400-pound lowland gorilla living in The Smithsonian’s National Zoo.

Baraka pictured with his wife Calaya during the period when the 400-lb ape might have worked with Mr. Cohen and President Trump. (Credit: www.flickr.com/photos/hilton_photos/2884995569

“We don’t have a lot of information about Baraka at this point, but we believe Mr. Cohen might have used him as muscle to intimidate enemies of President Trump’s, then provided legal protection for the ape if he was recognized or discovered missing from the zoo” said F.B.I. Special Agent Richard Hedges, who is in charge of the Michael…