Truth In Satire

Famous TV And Movie Animals Say Harvey Weinstein Sexually Molested Them, Too

Flipper, Babe the Pig, Mr. Ed, and Punxsatawny Phil all accuse the depraved movie mogul of harassment and casting couch abuses

Flipper claims that Weinstein masturbated in front of him. (Credit: www.cliftonbridge.org)

Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, and some of Hollywood’s biggest female stars aren’t the only ones charging powerful producer Harvey Weinstein with sexual harassment spanning decades.

Yesterday, some of TV and film’s most beloved animals also came forward to say that Mr. Weinstein took advantage of them early in their careers, when many were just fillies, piglets, puppies, and kittens.

The accusations cut across almost all species, and many of the stories are hard to hear. But this is what some adored, on-screen animal stars say happened to them at the hands of the depraved producer:

Mr. Ed accused Weinstein of riding him bareback. (Credit: nostalgiacentral.com)

Mr. Ed

The incredible talking horse says that he was chatting it up with Harvey Weinstein at a Santa Monica ranch party when the most powerful man in Hollywood asked the palomino to take a walk behind the stables. “I was intimidated. It was Mr. Harvey, after all. That’s when he asked if he could ride me bareback,” recalled Mr. Ed. “I was renegotiating my TV contract at the time and I was scared he might kill the deal, so I reluctantly agreed. And before I knew it, he had stripped off his clothes and was on my back…and…well, all I remember is that when he finally dismounted, Mr. Harvey had made a very sticky mess of my mane.”

Everyone’s favorite dolphin insists he’ll never skinny dip with Weinstein again. (Credit: movieforums.com)

Flipper

The sociable adventure star, who became famous for his roles on both the small and big screen, says that Mr. Weinstein took an interest in his career just after he arrived off the coast of Los Angeles. Flipper says that Mr. Weinstein recognized his swimming skills immediately, especially his ability to dance backward in the water on the tip of his tail, and wanted to speak about a multi-picture deal. “I was so excited! I wasn’t away from the dolphin pod for more than a week when Harvey Weinstein, the Harvey Weinstein, wanted to sign me. It was a dream come true. Then, one sunny California afternoon, we were swimming together off Surfrider Beach in Malibu talking about my film future, when he unexpectedly pulled off his swim trunks and started masturbating in front of me underwater. It was horrible, but I was frozen with fear. The whole thing was over in seconds, but I don’t think I’ll ever recover from the horrible sight.”

Babe says, “Harvey Weinstein is a pig.” (Credit: forsakenchronicles.blogspot.com)

Babe The Pig

“It was back in 1995, and the first film we did with Universal had just been nominated for seven Academy Awards,” remembers Babe. “We were touring in Australia to promote the film ahead of the Oscars, and Mr. Weinstein, who didn’t have his own film company at the time, but was an associate producer on ours, was traveling with us. After drinks one night — and this is hard to retell — he walked me back to the pen and asked me if I wanted to mud wrestle. I told him ‘no,’ but he wasn’t taking no for an answer, and he’s a big man, as you know. Well, in seconds he was stark naked and he just pounced on me. I don’t know how it happened but, yes, at some point there was pig penetration. Of course, that film was a big success, and in 1998, we made the sequel, Babe: Pig in the City, and I can’t tell you how relieved I was when I learned that Mr. Weinstein would NOT be in the city for that shoot.”

Hooch suffered severe emotional trauma when the producer demanded sex in exchange for green lighting a film project. (Credit: gumtree4x4.co.uk)

Beasley The Dog (aka Hooch)

Hooch was in Beverly Hills in the late 1980's for a screening of his eponymous detective comedy, Turner & Hooch, which co-starred Tom Hanks. At a raucous after-party in a private home, the French Mastiff says that Mr. Weinstein became drunk and loud and many of the guests were avoiding him. A big dog, Hooch was asked by the party’s host to accompany Mr. Weinstein to an upstairs bedroom where he could sleep it off. Once in the bedroom, Mr. Weinstein, according to Hooch, “slammed the door and demanded ‘slobber fellatio’ from me. I told him my slobber was reserved for people I loved, but he threatened not to green light our next film if I didn’t give him the full ‘drool on the dick’ treatment. I’m not proud of what happened next… but I felt completely trapped.”

Punxsatawny Phil says Weinstein thought he was a gerbil and mistreated him. (Credit: 1.bp.blogspot.com)

Punxsatawny Phil

One of the stars of the 1993 hit, Groundhog Day, also featuring Bill Murray, was the prognosticating groundhog known as Punxsatawny Phil — whose real name is Rodain Larramore. Mr. Larramore tells one of the more lewd and disturbing stories about the degenerate movie mogul. According to Larramore, he was attending a meeting with Murray and Chris Elliot, another actor from the film, at the LA offices of Columbia Pictures. At one point, Larramore got up to use the men’s room, and when he got there, Harvey Weinstein was in the stall next to him. “I knew it was Harvey because he is well-known in Hollywood for making really bizarre noises when he’s on the crapper. So I’m in my stall, minding my own business, when here comes this big, fat hand trying to grab me off my toilet seat, and I hear Harvey screaming, “Gerbil! Gerbil!” I guess he got his rodents mixed up, because all of a sudden he’s trying to shove me up his butt, Richard Gere style. Jesus Christ, I literally had to bite his ass cheeks to keep from traveling up his dookie maker. It was a fucking nightmare. I’m sorry, but Gwyneth Paltrow has nothing on me when it comes to weird Harvey Weinstein stories!”

****

Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.

–AI

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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