Truth In Satire
Deadly Wishbone War Breaks Out At Trump Thanksgiving Day Table
With virtually all the president’s men and women in serious trouble, a White House death match over lucky bone was certain
Everybody in Donald Trump’s inner circle is in big trouble, from family members to Oval Office advisors, foreign policy consultants to former press officials.
That’s why, when dinner was served in the White House on Thursday, a historic fight for the wishbone broke out among all siting at the table, each hoping it might provide just the right magic to keep Bob Mueller away… along with a host of other miseries.
Here are the wishes that Trump family members and invited guests were “pulling for” when they reached for the turkey to snatch that cherished bone:
Stephen Miller: As a insensate cyborg, Stephen’s wish is what every robot longs for — a heart. The chance to feel true compassion and love for others. And we all should have been rooting for Stephen on Thursday because until now that droid has been void of anything resembling kindness, tolerance, or empathy. It isn’t Adolf Twitler’s finger on the button, folks, it’s this automaton’s titanium digits. Hope that android grabbed that bone and pulled!
Kellyanne Conway: What could the blonde babbler want more than a chance to stand in the Rose Garden and defend a single TRUTH with total confidence in its veracity? Doesn’t have to be a special truth, or a fancy truth, or a big truth, just any truth. If she got the wishbone, you know that she asked for an actual fact, spoken by The Lyin’ King, which she could stand by wholeheartedly without sounding like a crazy witch. Good luck with that, KC.
Steve Bannon: The Breitbart Barbarian eats live scorpions for breakfast which he washes down with rattlesnake venom. Hence the constant, toxic pustule outbreak and the blood…
