Truth In Satire

Election Eve Outrage: Alabama Legislature Makes It Legal To Date 14-Year-Olds

New law passed day before contentious election appeared to be move by Alabama Republicans to boost Roy Moore’s Senate bid

“My high school girlfriends love the cowboy look!” (Credit: thedailybeast.com)

In a move certain to outrage Democrats and disgust teenagers, Alabama’s Republican legislature passed a last-minute bill making it perfectly legal for adult men in the state to date underage girls ages 14–16.

Called the “Pedophilia Permission Act,” the last-minute law passed on the eve of a special election in Alabama for a U.S. Senate seat appears intended to make candidate Roy Moore’s past history of forcible sexual advances on teenagers seem not so revolting or reprehensible.

“Oh, hello there, Miss, can I date your daughter?” (Credit: newindianexpress.com)

“As you can see, Judge Roy Moore broke no laws when he chased down girls at a mall here in Alabama and then locked them in his car in order to date them enthusiastically,” said Virgil Moore, leader of the state senate and a distant cousin of Judge Moore’s, related through incest. “Our Pedophilia Permission Act completely covers that kind of friendly dating behavior…