Truth In Satire

Donald Trump Hires Sassy Gay Man To Fan His Head During Summer Months

Rhode Island’s Teacher of the Year gets summer job as president’s “Official LBGTQ Oval Office Sweat Swatter”

The president’s personal “blower of cool air,” Nikos Giannopoulous, posing with Mr. Trump and the first lady at the White House on Friday. (Credit: Nikos Giannopoulos/FB)

President Trump surprised his White House staff on Friday by sitting for a photo op with Nikos Giannopoulos, Rhode Island’s Teacher of the Year and a sassy gay man, then offering the proud LGBTQ advocate a summer job as his “Official Oval Office Sweat Swatter.”

“Up at Trump Tower, I always brought in a personal fanner and blower during the hot summer season,” said Mr. Trump, after the official photo was taken in the Oval Office with the first lady and Mr. Giannopoulos. “I always hired gay men for the job because they know how to keep the cool air coming at a light, even speed, without messing up my hair. I am delighted that Mr. Giannopoulous and his handsome black fan with be joining me in the Oval Office for the next few months.”

Giannopoulos, a 29-year-old special education teacher at Beacon Charter High School for the Arts in Woonsocket, was thrilled with the president’s offer and says he’s looking forward to spending a summer in Washington by the president’s side.

“I was as surprised as anyone by President Trump’s job offer,” said Giannopoulous. “I thought he was going to tell me to put my black lace fan away and to take off my nose ring and rainbow LGBTQ lapel pin. Not only did he tell me to “absolutely go for it,” he asked me if I knew how to use the fan to really ‘cool a man off.’ I told him I did and the rest is history!”

Giannopoulous hopes his time with the president will be a chance to tell Mr. Trump that “queer lives matter and anti-LGBTQ policies have a body count.” He also wants to impress upon the president that the LGBTQ community’s right to love who they wish should not be attacked by politicians.

The beloved RI teacher was quick to add that while he did not support Mr. Trump’s anti-gay rhetoric, he appreciated it when the president told him that he looked, “very stylish with my fan.”

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Thank you.

–AI

Note to my readers: Nikos Giannopoulos is a real person and was, in fact, Rhode Island’s Teacher of the Year. He is also a proud gay man. However, he is not Donald Trump’s official fanner for the summer. I made that up. I hope Mr. Giannopoulos will appreciate that this post is satire, and was a chance to draw attention to the Trump administration’s rolling back of civil rights for the LGBTQ community. Thanks, Nikos, for your understanding, and congratulations.

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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