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Dogs Wondering What The F**K Humans Are Thinking

Canines are blowing the dog whistle on planetary-threatening behavior by the human race

Allan Ishac
3 min readJan 8, 2024

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Photo of dogs looking at the camera at humans. Humor. Satire. Pets. World Peace. Man’s best friend.
“Yo…humans, wake up!” (Photo Credit: pawsitivelyhumane.org)

Dogs worldwide believe that the human race is completely out of control and needs a barking to. According to mixed breeds, rescues, pedigrees and mongrels, the situation has gotten so dire they feel their survival depends on an intervention.

“I’m hearing daily reports from our four-footed friends about human caretakers yelling more, throwing things at the TV, and displaying increased aggression toward other humans,” says Dr. Barkum Rodarbal, an animal behaviorist and revered canine whisperer. “If people continue with their a reckless behaviors, dogs will have no choice but to pee on their shoes to get their attention and force them to reverse course.”

Photo of tough bulldog in costume looking at camera. Humor. Satire. Pets. World Peace. Man’s best friend.
Enforcers like bulldog Tony Penzano could be sicced on mankind in 2024. (Photo Credit: funnydogsite.com)

Dogs are also ready to call in their worldwide network of canine enforcers led by Tony the Bulldog Penzano, but it’s an aggressive step that they would like to avoid. “No calves or ankles are left unscathed if the Bulldog Boys get involved,” said Penzano. “You don’t want my team to pay you a visit.”

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Allan Ishac
Allan Ishac

Written by Allan Ishac

Author of The Mystic In The Mews (themysticinthemews.com). Satirist. Humor writer. Former advertising creative director. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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