Truth In Satire

Djokovic Leaves Neon Puddle On U.S. Open Court After Arc Reactor Leaks From Chest

The 36-year old Serbian has been using the device to keep his body from breaking down in the tournament’s blistering heat

Yes, Novak has superpowers … thanks to an energy-enhancing device implanted in his chest. (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)

It’s been very hot in Arthur Ashe Stadium this past two weeks and if you’re an aging, 36-year-old competitor you need a little extra help.

For Novak Djokovic that means a compact, high-tech arc reactor, similar to the device worn by Iron Man’s Tony Stark.

“It’s not cheating, anyone can have one implanted,” said Djokovic after his quarter-final match, “and mine has been keeping me energized and upright for the past four years of demanding tournaments.”

A close-up of Novak’s compact arc reactor. (Photo Credit: Stan. Sport)

Only one problem — the power-enhancing devices can leak. Which explains the glowing puddle on the U.S. Open court in the middle of the match with Taylor Fritz.

The tournament director quickly had the puddle mopped up using special towels lined with protective polymers, and Novak had his team send him a new arc reactor via ballgirl between sets.