Truth In Satire

Desperate For A Win, Trump Doubles Effort To Become “#1 Worst President Ever”

In mad rush to be “tops at terrible,” POTUS goes low with more Obama-era policy reversals and ambitious plan to destroy planet

Signing away Obamacare funding on Thursday, Mr. Trump said, “I think this is proof that I’m the very best at being the worst!” (Credit:

Seeing his approval numbers plunge, and realizing that reversing the trend will be next to impossible, President Donald Trump is now focused on becoming “the very best” at being the absolute worst president in American history.

At the UN last month, the president worked hard to piss off all 193 members of the international organization. (Credit:

Political observers point out that the president has reached an almost maniacal pace of destruction, with a flurry of significant executive actions in just the past week aimed at benefiting no one and leaving millions of Americans feeling vulnerable, frightened, and devoid of any kind of government safety net.

Mr. Trump used skewed logic to explain his current spate of negative actions:

“By rolling back every single piece of Obama-era legislation, by ensuring that minorities and disadvantaged segments of our population stay that way, by alienating all of my Republican colleagues in Congress, threatening nuclear war and gaining the disrespect of our allies abroad, I have now risen to the top of the heap in terms of presidential unpopularity, which makes me actually a HUGE success. No one can say I haven’t achieved a lot now!”

The governor of Puerto Rico struggles to keep from punching President Trump in the face after he asks how many paper towels the island needs. (Credit:

It is well-known that Mr. Trump will do anything to make headlines and, according to several White House sources, has been telling insiders recently that he would “kill for attention,” which they are taking literally.

Ominously, he was also overhead telling an aide, “the TV ratings for a nuclear war would be unbelievable — my name would be known in every flattened city and burned out village in the world. That’s what you call an amazing Q-score!”

Mr. Trump was referring to the measure of a person’s familiarity and celebrity based on a Q-rating or Q-score.

Many in the country and across the globe are now concerned that in his race to reach the bottom, President Trump might draw America into a cataclysmic conflict.

“I don’t think he understands that in his determination to be tops at terrible, to become the Overlord of Lousy Leadership, he endangers us all,” said one CIA operative stationed inside the White House, who is not named John Kelly. “If he sees his face on television every minute, he considers this a monumental victory, even if the reason for the heightened attention is that his entire administration considers him a moron, and the whole world views him as a failure. Franky, only a moron oblivious to his dangerous defects and serious shortcomings would ever think this way.”


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