Death Seen Trudging Through Minnesota Snowstorm Without Scythe

Grim Reaper came for Evan Brinkley of Duluth but had to return to hell when he realized his harvesting tool was missing

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This is believed to be the only photograph of Death ever taken without his reaping tool. (Credit: http://fif2.blog.sbc.edu/page/3/)

It was just another snowy Sunday afternoon for Evan Brinkley of Duluth, MN. He had just poured himself a Jack Daniels and was sitting down to watch the Vikings game, while his wife Joan was in the kitchen canning the last of the fall vegetables.

That’s when Evan saw a shadow pass by the window and heard a light tapping at the door. “Honey,” he called to his wife, “I think one of the neighbors is at the back door.”

“In this storm?” she replied. Joan says she then wiped some pumpkin seeds off her hands, took a few steps toward the door, and opened it with her usual smile…and had the fright of her life.

Joan and Evan Brinkley of Duluth, MN are hiding from Death in a place we can’t reveal.

“I’ve seen images of Death since I was a little girl, and there was no mistaking who this was,” said Joan, speaking on the phone several days after the incident. “but when he opened his mouth, well, I had no idea how chilling the voice would be.”

According to Joan, Death’s raspy, unemotional timbre made her knees buckle. And his words nearly made her retch: “I am here for Evan Brinkley. It is his time.”

By then, Evan had joined his wife at the porch door. When he saw who was standing there, he stumbled back into a wall mirror and brought it crashing to the floor. The commotion seemed to startle Death who raised both hands to his sunken face. That’s when Evan noticed something was missing. “The image of Death is something every Lutheran has seared in his mind. So when I realized what was wrong, I just blurted out, ‘if you’re really Death, then where’s your reaper?’”

According to the Brinkley’s that’s when Death looked startled, wheeled around to stare back at his tracks in the snow, and became visibly angry, “Goddamn it, I must have dropped the fucking thing when I crossed that icy stream a mile back. Do you have any idea how awkward it is to carry a sharp-ass scythe around wherever you go? Shit!”

The Brinkleys say that they can’t exactly remember what happened next, as both were in shock. But they do recall Death shuffling his bony feet on the steps for a moment, then turning back to them and saying, “Look, you guys stay right here. I gotta run back to hell and grab another scythe. Don’t leave, just stay put, okay?”

Then Death stepped off their porch and began trudging back through the snow where he came from. Evan had the presence of mind to grab his phone and take a few grainy shots of The Grim Reaper as he departed. Then he immediately called the police, showed them the photos he had taken, and requested safe sanctuary for himself and his wife. At this time, the Brinkleys have been placed in a federal protection program far from Duluth.

“Obviously, I feel lucky to be alive,” said Evan by phone. “We don’t know how long we can stay in hiding or if The Grim Reaper has the ability to track us down wherever we go, but Joan and I believe that we have our families to consider. Our children and grand kids would be heart-broken if they found out I was dead. So, for now, we’re just praying and hoping for the best.”

News crews staked out the Brinkley home for two weeks after the incident in hopes of filming Death upon his return, but there was no evidence that the Dark Lord had come back and, as of this writing, the Brinkleys remain safe, and alive, in hiding.

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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