Truth In Satire

D.C. Stationers Overwhelmed With Orders For “Trump Impeachment Party” Invites

As president recklessly prepares to fire Mueller, the anticipation of his rapid downfall has Washington in a celebratory mood

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The countdown has begun in the nation’s capital and across the country as Donald Trump inches closer to political suicide. (Credit:

tationery stores in the Washington, D.C. area say they can’t fulfill orders for Trump impeachment party invitations fast enough to meet demand.

This comes after a rage filled Donald Trump threatened on Monday to fire special counsel Robert Mueller upon learning of an F.B.I. raid on the office of his personal attorney, Michael D. Cohen. The early morning raid, which the president called “a disgraceful situation” and “an attack on our country,” has incensed Mr. Trump to the point that many Washington insiders believe he will finally act on his repeated threat to clean house at the Justice Department, leading to Mueller’s termination and then to the president’s certain impeachment.

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Pressure from the Mueller investigation has been giving Mr. Trump headaches and the nation hopes for a fast impeachment. (Credit:

“It would be suicide for the president to want to talk about firing” the special counsel, said Sen. Chuck Grassley, a Republican from Iowa and the Chairman of the Judiciary Committee. Grassley added that his own wife “has placed a sizable order for impeachment invites and we plan to use them if the president acts carelessly on this matter. She has already put the stamps on the envelopes.”

Impeachment parties were all the rage during the Nixon administration and had a brief resurgence again during the presidency of Bill Clinton. But the prospect of an imminent Trump impeachment has caught the imagination of people across the political spectrum in the nation’s capital and around the country.

It has also caught D.C. stationers by surprise.

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D.C. stationers like Just Paper & Tea are being flooded with orders for impeachment party invites. (Credit:

“We’ve never seen a demand for impeachment invitations like we’re witnessing right now,” said Martin Vellum, owner of the Just Paper & Tea stationery store, located in historic Georgetown. “I just hope that President Trump doesn’t dampen the party mood by failing to fire Mueller and, thereby, extending his presidency. That would be a disaster on so many levels. This town needs a big impeachment party to lift our spirits after the miserable year we’ve just been through.”

Mr. Vellum said that orders can be placed through the store’s website, but to expect a wait of two weeks for impeachment invitation purchases of more than 200 pieces. For invitations printed on the popular “Orange Shitgibbon” paper, the wait could be even longer.


Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is out of our hair.

I read every comment. And I try to answer as many as possible.

Thank you.


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