Truth In Satire

D.C. Sickened After Trump Oversprays For Ticks and Mosquitoes At White House

Terrified of getting Lyme Disease or Zika, president directs use of strong insecticide fogger in Rose Garden that blankets capital

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The White House was engulfed in a noxious “insecti-fog” on Tuesday afternoon that descended over Washington. (Credit:

resident Donald Trump admits that he is afraid of germs. On Tuesday, we learned that the president is also petrified of getting a mosquito or tick bite that could result in him contracting Lyme Disease, Zika, or West Nile Virus.

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Mr. Trump’s airborne irritant blanketed the Capitol building and downtown area. (Credit:

According to sources inside the White House, Mr. Trump received a report from the director of the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) on Tuesday morning warning that cases of the insect borne diseases are soaring.

Hours later, he ordered that a military-grade insect fogger be sprayed over the Rose Garden and South Lawn. As the exterminators were finishing the job late Tuesday afternoon, the president raced out of the Oval Office and demanded that they spray again.

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Washingtonians stumble through a cloud of powerful insecticide that was sprayed at the insistence of Donald Trump. (Credit:

Despite being told that the insecticide was strong and overspraying could sicken people in the area, Mr. Trump countered by yelling, “I can’t risk contracting Zika and getting a little brain! Spray again, you idiots!”

It was after the second application that the noxious “insecti-fog” was carried by an evening breeze over the city. Many reported experiencing burning eyes, difficulty breathing, and headaches as they tried to commute home through a cloud of harmful pesticide.

As the ill-effects from the insecticide were being felt by thousands of Washingtonians over a ten-square-mile area, President Trump was observed running to Marine One with an oxygen mask over his face, then being flown to the clean air of Camp David for the night.


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