Truth In Satire

Crayola To Retire “Dandelion” Colored Crayon After Pressure From White House

Popular yellow-orange shade booted from 24-box after kids caught drawing too many offensive pictures of Trump with it

Just when you thought the Trump White House could not get any more petty or ludicrous, Crayola has pulled its hugely popular “Dandelion” color from boxes of crayons after, what it called, “arm-twisting from the White House.”

According to a Crayola spokesperson, who spoke off the record, a senior Trump staffer called the Pennsylvania-based company last week and asked them to sack the yellow-orange hue — which is very similar to the president’s odd hair and skin coloring — after children nationwide were using it to create unflattering drawings of Mr. Trump.

“Our Dandelion color is almost the exact shade of an orangutan’s coat,” said the Crayola representative. “Apparently, one of the president’s own grandchildren walked into the Oval Office with a drawing of an ape and an arrow pointing to it that said, ‘Grandpa.’ The incident reportedly sent Mr. Trump through the roof.”

“Dandelion” has been part of the standard 24-count box of Crayola Crayons since 1990, with no customer complaints before now. A 28-year run for a popular color is historically considered a short lifespan for one of the company’s crayons.

After a classroom of kindergartners in Easton, PA, the hometown of Crayola, were told that they would be losing one of their favorite crayon colors as a result of harassment from the President of the United States, they seemed perplexed, then angry. One little boy with an angelic face and sweet smile raised his hand, stood up, and said, “I think President Trump is a dick.”

In what some are calling an act of subtle retaliation for the White House’s heavy-handed interference, Crayola announced yesterday that “Dandelion” would be replaced by a “bold color in the blue family.”


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