Truth In Satire

Caught Groping RBG In His Chambers, Justice Kennedy Was Forced To Resign

Shocking truth of Anthony Kennedy’s departure from Supreme Court raises more questions about male abuse at highest levels

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Justice Kennedy could not keep his hands to himself in the presence of the charismatic RBG. (Credit: msnbc.com)

evelations about men abusing their positions of power in business, politics, and the entertainment industry hit America’s highest court on Wednesday when Justice Anthony Kennedy resigned from the Supreme Court due to a “private matter.”

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Judge Kennedy exhibited “injudicious behavior” in his last days on the high court. (Credit: http://www.wisn.com)

But TMZ, the tabloid news website, reported on Friday that the matter in question was related to a harassment charge by his colleague on the court, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, also known as the Notorious RBG.

“All we know at this point is that there were several incidents when Judge Kennedy could not control himself in the company of Judge Ginsburg,” said Matt Carnale, a spokesman for the U.S. Supreme Court. “There were apparently several episodes in his chambers when Mr. Kennedy tried to overpower Ms. Ginsburg. But with her extreme strength training, she was able to fight him off until court officers arrived. Ms. Ginsburg filed a complaint with Chief Justice Roberts who demanded Mr. Kennedy’s resignation.”

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Many witnessed Judge Kennedy giving Ms. Ginsburg a surrepticious squeeze at the funeral of Justice Anthony Scalia. (Credit: www.voanews.com)

Justice Kennedy’s office issued this statement on Friday night:

“Anthony Kennedy has been a respected member of the Supreme Court for 30 years. This transgression in no way reflects a pattern of sexual misconduct by Justice Kennedy and he continues to hold Judge Ruth Bader Ginsburg in the highest professional regard. He wishes to apologize to her for his lack of self-control and blames her recent film portrait for turning her into ‘a larger than life’ figure in popular culture who he could not resist. Mr. Kennedy asks for privacy as he begins a 45-day inpatient rehabilitation program for men with sexual addiction problems.”

Judge Kennedy is believed to be at a facility in Arizona where the stultifying heat acts to suppress his hyperactive libido.

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

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Thank you.

–AI

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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