Allan Ishac’s Naked Satire

Breaking: Trump And Weinstein May Have Masturbated Together In Front Of Women

But movie mogul calls president “way creepier than me — at least I said ‘pretty please’ before dragging the bitches to the basement”

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Don’t look now, ladies, but your husbands have just been beating off down the hall. (

With allegations swirling from dozens of women that Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein sexually harassed them, charges that spanned decades, there are now questions about Donald Trump’s participation in the sexual misadventures.

President Trump does not deny being good friends with Weinstein. Before traveling to North Carolina on Saturday he was asked about the movie mogul’s current troubles: “I’ve known Harvey Weinstein a long time. I’m not at all surprised to see it.”

The allegations got even more salacious on Friday, when the HuffPost reported that TV anchor Lauren Sivan now claims that Weinstein cornered her in a basement hallway in 2007 and demanded she watch as he pounded the flounder.

Rumors are circulating that Mr. Trump might have been Weinstein’s “right hand man” that night. And that the two powerful men possibly worked in tandem to demean and sexually mistreat dozens of actresses, models, female studio executives, beauty contestants, waitresses, yoga instructors, hotel employees, flight attendants, barmaids, artists, writers, real estate brokers, hairdressers, caterers, reality TV stars, and others. None of the females were the men’s own wives.

“Long before Trump ever spoke to Billy Bush about his pussy grabbing exploits, he and Weinstein would pal around to chase women and beat their meat together,” said one movie industry insider, speaking off the record. “Frankly, they’re both so fat, I can’t imagine how they even found their dicks, but maybe they helped each other crank the shanks.”

Asked to comment on allegations that President Trump and Harvey Weinstein might have been partners in sexual crimes, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, “These irresponsible and obscene accusations are disgusting and fallacious. I, for one, have never seen the president masturbating in the White House. He’s much too busy conducting the nation’s business to spank the monkey on the taxpayer’s time. Stephen Miller, on the other hand, is another level of deviant altogether. The Secret Service is constantly chasing that pervert out of the Oval Office bathroom for pudwhacking. If you really want to put the spotlight on some degenerate behavior, focus on Miller.”


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