Truth In Satire

Angry U.S. Allies Send Trump To Wrong Canadian City Ahead of G7 Meeting

Irate over his decision to impose tariffs, Group of 7 nations tells president to meet them in Calgary instead of La Malbaie, Quebec

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Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, pictured with his five other pranksters, had the idea to dispatch President Trump to another part of Canada. (

ngry U.S. allies, who were scheduled to meet President Donald Trump in Quebec over the weekend for the G7 meeting, pulled a fast one on the American leader at the last minute.

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Ignoring Mr. Trump “worked okay last year,” said Canada’s Justin Trudeau, “but none of us has the energy to avoid him constantly this time around again.” (

“We told him to meet us on the other side of Canada, in Calgary, instead of the Quebec resort town where we’ll all be gathered,” said Angela Merkel, the German chancellor who is said to be furious with Mr. Trump over his decision to leave the Iran nuclear deal. “It’s going to be hilarious when he shows up like a big shot in Calgary and no one is there to greet him but a couple of ranchers and 50,000 cows. Wish I could be there to see it.”

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is said to have masterminded the stunt to keep Mr. Trump away from the G7 meeting and got the other leaders to go along with the prank.

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Angela Merkel said she basically gave Trump the cold shoulder at last year’s G7 “but it would be a lot easier if he just wasn’t there at all.” (Credit:

“Justin came up with the idea but we all jumped on board immediately,” said President Emmanuel Macron of France, who is upset with Mr. Trump for pulling out of the Paris climate treaty. “If we can keep him away from La Malbaie for the duration of the meeting, c’est magnifique!”

Theresa May, Great Britain’s prime minister was relieved to hear that President Trump would be spending the weekend on the other side of Canada, instead of sitting next to her at the G7 gathering.

“He gives me the creeps, what can I say?” commented Ms. May before leaving London for Quebec on Thursday night. “I don’t claim to be an attractive woman, but I know about his reputation and I’m pretty sure that disgusting cad would grab anything he could get his hands on. Well, no thank you, sir!”

All the allies agree that the G7 gathering will be held over the weekend in La Malbaie as planned whether Mr. Trump makes it or not.

“If it ends up being a G6 meeting,” concluded Mr. Macron, “it won’t be the end of the world.”


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