America Sexually Molested, Then Completely F — cked By Two Big Dicks

As slimeball Anthony Weiner’s texts threaten to sink the Clinton campaign, Donald Trump invites him into his inner circle jerk

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Now you don’t have to choose between your favorite scuzzball, because they’re playing on the same team.

After humiliating his wife, Huma Abedin, a key Clinton Aide, and potentially destroying Hillary Clinton’s presidential run, sexual predator Anthony Weiner has decided to join the campaign of his misogynistic mentor Donald Trump.

The alliance of two of America’s most prominent sleazeballs could draw millions of undecided sex offenders, gropers, woman-haters and perverts to the Republican ticket on November 8th, tilting the election Trump’s way.

“I’ve been watching this unbelievable pussy hound for years,” said Trump, “and I love the way Anthony whores around. The minute the FBI seized his repulsive texts and emails, I knew he would be a huge asset on our campaign bus.” Trump also added that he now hates Mike Pence as his vice-presidential pick and wishes “I had chosen a wiseass, loudmouth Jew like Weiner to go after my faggot opponents.”

Weiner sounded equally excited to join Trump’s team: “I am proud to bring my high-profile social media skills, with years of sexting experience, to the Trump effort,” said Weiner, lifting his 4-year-old son onto his shoulders. “With Donald’s ability to grab pussy and move like a bitch on women, and my gift for grossing out the ladies with perverted texts, we are going to decisively capture the vote of all white male creeps on election day.”

Asked how the addition of Weiner as a Trump adviser might impact the outcome of the presidential race, statistician Nate Silver, founder of FiveThirtyEight said, “Who the fuck knows — I am so confused and disgusted at this point, I just want to go back to crunching baseball numbers.”

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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