Truth In Satire

Airlines Announce Reduced Fares For People Willing To Fly In Overhead Bins

New “Overhead Class” begins January 1st with discounts as high as 60% — major carriers expect brisk sales for no-frills travel option

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Hege Blix, a student at Florida State University, prepares for an upcoming flight to see her family in Trondheim, Norway. She says she’ll save more than $500 round trip by traveling in “Overhead Class.”

Recognizing that rising airfares are grounding many would-be travelers, major U.S. airlines — including American, Delta, United, and JetBlue — are offering a no-frills option with dramatically reduced ticket prices.

“We realize that ‘BinBlue,’ our new overhead class, is not for everyone and may cause minor joint dislocation,” said Rand Michaels, a Vice-President at JetBlue, “but it’s a great option for flexible flyers carrying only a single piece of luggage.”

Delta is calling its over-the-seat travel option, “Compact Class,” while American is using “Scrunch Club,” and United has chosen the name “Packed Passages.” All offer ticket prices that are 30–60% below standard coach fares.

“For years, Delta customers have been complaining about the high cost of traveling with children,” said Barbara Lee, Director of Flight Programs for the Atlanta-based airline. “We’re happy to announce today that with our ‘Compact Class’ program, children under 3 fly free. Delta is the first airline in the industry to offer no-cost overhead options for passengers of toddler age and younger.” Ms. Lee said that in some cases, young children will even be allowed to fly unaccompanied by an adult if they’re slightly sedated before departure.

The Federal Aviation Administration is reviewing safety standards for the various “Overhead Class” programs, but so far they all appear to be cleared for take-off. And with major carriers anticipating strong sales for the no-frills travel option, it means a lot of happy people will be taking to the skies after the new year.

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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