TRUTH IN SATIRE

After Radioactive Water Dump, Japan Says “Eating Seafood Is Safe For Humans, But Fish Should Avoid It”

The ambiguous message left East Asians shunning sashimi, while fish in the region were apparently swimming to cleaner waters

Japan was suprised that people wanted nothing to do with fish marinated in Fukushima wastewater. (Photo Credit: Thomson Reuters)

In a statement on Friday, Japan assured seafood eaters that radioactive wastewater discharged into the ocean this week from the damaged Fukushima nuclear plant “presents no health risks to people.”

The statement added, however, that fish living in the dumping zone “should avoid eating other fish and swim away.” The confusing message baffled East Asians, including Chinese and South Korean consumers of Japanese fish, and will surely frustrate indigenous fish populations that are now marinating in contaminated ocean waters.

Sashimi “radiating” an inner glow at a South Korean fish market. (Photo Credit: Pedro Pardo/AFP/Getty Images)

“This makes no sense,” said an anxious fish customer at the Noryangjin Fish Market in Seoul. “If Japan is warning its own fish to flee and not to eat other Pacific fish, how can the country’s seafood be safe for humans?”