Truth In Satire

After Ivanka Says “There’s A Special Place In Hell” For Child Abusers, President Purchases Fireproof Suit

Image for post
Image for post
President Trump looking ashamed as daughter Ivanka calls him out for inappropriate sexual behavior with underage beauty contestants. (Credit:

Reacting to allegations that Alabama Senate nominee Roy Moore sexually abused teenage girls, Ivanka Trump said on Wednesday, “There’s a special place in hell for people who prey on children.”

That comment wreaked havoc in the White House, as her father, President Donald Trump, immediately rushed out to a Carhartt store in downtown Washington, D.C. to purchase a custom-made, flame resistant, navy blue dress suit.

The president, who has told friends that he knew was he headed to the eternal Inferno even before his daughter’s condemnation regarding men who prey on children, has apparently been acclimating to Hell in the basement of the White House, where he has had the temperature of a small storage room turned up to a sizzling 4350º.

Gary Cohn, Mr. Trump’s top economic adviser and a Jew, who is also expected to go to Hell for his role in promoting an anti-Semitic president, has been joining his boss in the super hot acclimation room.

“Wow, now that’s a shvitz,” said Mr. Cohn as he exited the blistering heat of the combustible storage space wearing a pair of fireproof coveralls and a flame retardant parka. Mr. Cohn, a bald man, also had his head covered with a close-fitting, asbestos balaclava.

It is not known when President Trump will be retiring to his “special place in Hell,” but it is clear that many Republican politicians will either be there to greet him or will be joining him shortly thereafter.


I want to thank all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.


Written by

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store