Truth In Satire

After Effort To “Self-Pardon” Fails, Trump And Family Flee Country In Private Jet

First Family circles globe for 12 hours before Russia reluctantly offers authorization for president and inner circle to land

The jet that the president, family, and top aides used to escape from Washington, seen in happier times. (Credit: YouTube)

Donald Trump’s presidency went into free fall on Thursday night after a bizarre series of unprecedented developments, all pointing to an admission of guilt by the U.S. commander in chief in the Russian election meddling case.

After looking for ways to block special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation into the late evening, then seeking to exculpate himself and his entire family by granting presidential pardons, President Trump, his aides, and most family members boarded his private jet and fled the country.

Trump’s private jet, with his family aboard, landing in Moscow after a long night of traveling the skies looking for a country that didn’t despise them. (Credit: YouTube)

“He just gathered everyone in the Oval Office at around midnight, told them to pack their bags with no plans to return, then called a fleet of Ubers and raced out to Dulles Airport with no Secret Service motorcade,” said a White House kitchen worker who observed the escape. “I’ve been working here for 28 years and never seen nothing like it.”

While the exact sequence of events is still sketchy, the president apparently asked Steve Bannon and his closest advisers to look for ways to discredit Robert Mueller and his inquiry by finding incriminating dirt in his past.

When this failed, according to a Washington Post report, Mr. Trump then “asked his advisers about his power to pardon aides, family members and even himself in connection with the probe.”

A nervous-looking President Trump on the tarmac in Moscow, in a photo released by the Kremlin early Friday morning. (Credit: ABC News–

With that avenue blocked by U.S. law — as well as all rules of decency, propriety, and self-respect — and the nation beginning to understand the full scope of his crimes, the president panicked, directed his family and inner circle to shut down their offices and gather their personal belongings, and ushered them out to a dozen Ubers parked near a rear exit of the White House.

President Trump’s personal jet was waiting on the tarmac at Dulles ready to depart, and at approximately 1:00am, the Boeing 757 did lift off from Washington.

In an odd, but not fully unexpected twist, Trump’s jet was unable to find a country willing to let it land. Over the course of 12 hours, the president apparently made calls to the heads of more than 78 nations, most of whom he had insulted in some way during his short, six month presidency, and all refused him entry.

Finally, President Vladimir Putin of Russia reluctantly gave the president’s private jet permission to touch down early on Friday morning. But for how long the First Family will be permitted to remain in Moscow is not known.

For further developments as they unfold, follow these pages closely.


Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.


Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at

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