Truth In Satire

After Boy Scouts Admit Girls, Trump Says He’ll Attend More Of Their Camping Trips

President tells Scouts, “I’ll be appearing at all future overnights to give the kids as much presidential supervision as possible”

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The president gives a thumbs up to the plan of girls joining the Boy Scouts. (Credit:hotnuderesearch.com and spacecoastdaily.com)

On the week that the Boy Scouts of America voted to include girls, President Trump said he’s clearing his schedule to attend more of the 107-year-old organization’s overnight camping trips.

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Mr. Trump says he’s looking forward to helping the new girls set up their tents. (Credit: nakedpetiteteens.com)

In a tweet on Friday night, the president wrote: “Looking forward to camping with all the teenage girls, and boys, far away on wilderness trips. Can feel it already — I’m going to be HUGE!”

Mr. Trump’s sudden interest in scouting is a surprise to BSA officials, who point out that the president was never a Boy Scout, although he did attend quite a few Girl Scout events as a youngster, from which he was frequently expelled.

Scouting parents, when told about President Trump’s eagerness to join their children on camping trips, said they were concerned about his history of inappropriate behavior.

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The White House reported on Friday that the president has already booked an overnight trip with Troop 131. (Credit: nakedpetiteteens.com)

“I have heard that he walked in on teenage girls dressing for beauty pageants,” said the mother of one 15-year-old female scout. “How do we know we can trust him with our young girls?”

“People call this president King Leer, Creep Throat, and Das Gropenfuhrer. That doesn’t give me a lot of confidence that my little Jenny would be safe in this man’s company,” said the father of a 13-year-old girl from Muskogee, OK.

Concern from the parents of scouts — both boys and girls — stems in part from an embarrassing, widely-panned speech that the president gave at the annual Boy Scout Jamboree in July. His cringeworthy performance left many feeling that the president is unable to behave appropriately around children.

“We have heard the chorus of complaints regarding Mr. Trump’s announcement that he’ll be attending future BSA camping trips,” read a Boy Scout statement issued on Saturday, “and we are going to suggest to the president that we think it would be in his own best interests, as well as the safety interests of our scouts across the country, if he simply stayed home with his wife on the weekends.”

A brief response from the White House stated only that Mr. Trump would be approaching the American Girl doll store in New York instead about the president conducting tours for visitors there, “where his grandfatherly presence and gentle supervision of the store’s visiting girls would surely be welcome.”

Note: No comment on this story from longtime friend of the president and fellow sexual harrasser, Harvey Weinstein, who was too busy salvaging the last remnants of his self-respect to reply.

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Thanks all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.

–AI

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Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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