Truth In Satire

“A Valentine’s Day Poem For My Melania” From Donald J. Trump

“Some say I lack the heart for a fine romance, but my tart is happy with a big cash advance”

Dear Melania,

You came into my life as a mail order bride,

Whose big boobs and nice ass made me feel pride.

You looked good on my arm, a fine foreign sex toy,

Until I knocked you up with yet another Trump boy.

I got bored very quickly, had to find my next date,

That’s when I saw Stormy, whose tits were first rate.

But the porn star got greedy, tried to shake me for money.

I said you won’t get my dough, take a walk now, honey.

But who knew I’d be the winner in the election for POTUS?

Suddenly people were standing up to take notice.

That’s when the tramp came back to cause trouble.

She threatened to expose me which burst my bubble.

It cost me $130K to keep that bitch quiet.

And avoid a big scandal, maybe a national riot.

But through all of the noise, my heart has been true.

I look at no one else, Melania, I’m stuck with you.

As a First Lady, you’ve been the best in history.

And by keeping your mouth shut, you add to the mystery.

You’re definitely not as smart as Ivana or Marla.

And you don’t turn me on like my daughter Ivanka.

But I can’t dump you now, or they’ll call me a clown.

Mueller and his boys will have me run out of town.

So until further notice, you’re the dame of my dreams.

If you catch me fucking others, it’s not what it seems.

So my dear Melania, won’t you be my Valentine?

Hurry up and say yes, cause I want to play a back nine.


Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.


Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at

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