Truth In Satire

A Survival Plan For Trump’s Next 500 Days

A 12-point checklist of things you’ll need to get through 500 more agonizing days of the worst presidency in American history

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A bullshit detector is a vital piece of equipment for every American home during the Trump years. (Credit: http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/733906-bullshit-detector)
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It’s nothing fancy, but a bottle of isopropyl alcohol could save you a lot of discomfort on those remaining Trump days when you’re covered head-to-toe in “ick.”
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A nuclear war is coming! Be prepared with a Geiger Counter in your home for early detection of lethal radiation levels. (Credit: http://pikmin.wikia.com)
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The Lonely Planet publishes an indispensable phrasebook for beginning Mandarin speakers that includes a section on how to grovel to Chinese captors and occupation forces.
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Evacuation plan to Canada following the Lewis & Clark trail. (Credit: www.sistersonthefly.com)
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There are many old, rich, white guy disguises available online. We found these useful Koch Brothers masks to be impressively realistic with pliable facial features. (Credit: blog.sfgate.com/morford/2015)
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No sexual predator can resist grabbing these realistic pussies. Pussy traps can be set to “Ensnare and Hold,” or for a more aggressive and painful deterrent, set them to “Castrate.”

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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