Truth In Satire

“The FBI can confirm I was wearing a wire to investigate Crooked Hillary’s ties to an elite pedophile cabal,” says FL congressman

Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) is now telling anyone who will listen that his money-for-sex encounter with a minor was “part of an undercover operation to investigate Crooked Hillary’s ties to an elite pedophile ring.”

The Florida congressman has been reeling in recent days trying to explain his involvement in a…

Truth In Satire

A swarm of 15,000 bees in New Mexico was seen catching a lift in a Buick to a patch of bluebells on Thursday

Apiologists are noticing some strange “bee-haviors” among beleaguered honey bee populations across the country.

“The bees are so stressed right now, they’re actually hitching rides to any fields and meadows that are more than a hundred feet from their hives,” said Dr. …

Truth In Satire

“Using our toxic baby powder together with our bad batch of vaccines wipes away stubborn corrosion almost instantly”

Johnson & Johnson researchers announced on Thursday that mixing their tainted Covid vaccine with the company’s asbestos-laced baby powder “produces an amazingly effective rust remover that our customers are going to love.”

The pharma giant said the discovery was made in one of its labs accidentally this week after some…

Truth In Satire

“Parents are complaining that our puppeteers’ hands are all up inside their families’ favorite characters,” says show executive

Sesame Street announced on Wednesday that it will phase out its hand-held Muppet cast to “reduce excessive puppet touching on the show.”

Most of the Muppet characters are designed as hand puppets, many with rods to control and coordinate certain movements. The hands of puppeteers are typically up inside the…

Truth In Satire

GOP leader claims Democrats “are trying to cancel out good American patriots who find an armed insurgency exhilarating”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) on Wednesday called increased security around the Capitol “overdone,” insisting that Democrats were making too much of the January 6th insurrection.

“Enough is enough,” said the man who for months perpetuated the lie that the November election was stolen, thereby paving the way for…

Truth In Satire

Golf legend insists: “A few exposed bones aren’t going to keep me from winning my 6th green jacket”

Leaving Harbor-UCLA Medical Center on Tuesday, golf legend Tiger Woods assured reporters that his rehab was going well, “and I expect to be ready for the Masters on April 8th.”

The stunning announcement not only sent shockwaves through the golf world, it immediately set Woods up as a 5–1 favorite…

Truth In Satire

America’s least favorite couple says, “We’re devastated, but we will probably now move to England to grab some headlines”

Just days after Oprah Winfrey’s news making TV interview with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, word out of Mar-a-Lago is that impostor monarchs Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner have been expelled from the Trump “Royal-Pain-In-The-Ass” family.

“Daddy threw us out with no allowance money or security, it’s horrible,” said Little…

Truth In Satire

President also ordered FEMA to instruct Texans on the benefits of shoes and clothing

After saying that Texans suffered from “Neanderthal thinking” earlier in the week, President Joe Biden doubled down on Thursday ordering FEMA to send the state “the wheel and fire, and instruct Texas residents on the benefits of shoes and clothing.”

Truth In Satire

SCOTUS says that “Creeps from one political party are not superior to creeps from another party”

In a major ruling on Tuesday, the Supreme Court determined that “a sexual predator is a sexual predator no matter his political party.”

The decision related to ongoing accusations of sexual harassment against Republican Donald Trump and Democrat Andrew Cuomo.

Justice Sotomayor wrote: “Just because you are a Democrat does…

Allan Ishac

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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