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Allan Ishac
Allan Ishac

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Published in Extra Newsfeed

·Apr 3, 2021

Matt Gaetz Says Sex With Minor Was “An Undercover Operation To Expose Hillary Clinton’s Pedophile Ring”

“The FBI can confirm I was wearing a wire to investigate Crooked Hillary’s ties to an elite pedophile cabal,” says FL congressman — Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) is now telling anyone who will listen that his money-for-sex encounter with a minor was “part of an undercover operation to investigate Crooked Hillary’s ties to an elite pedophile ring.” The Florida congressman has been reeling in recent days trying to explain his involvement in a…

Satire

1 min read

Matt Gaetz Says Sex With Minor Was “An Undercover Operation To Expose Hillary Clinton’s Pedophile…
Matt Gaetz Says Sex With Minor Was “An Undercover Operation To Expose Hillary Clinton’s Pedophile…
Satire

1 min read


Published in Extra Newsfeed

·Apr 2, 2021

Stressed-Out Honey Bees Now So Tired, They’re Hitching Rides To Flower Fields, Apiologists Say

A swarm of 15,000 bees in New Mexico was seen catching a lift in a Buick to a patch of bluebells on Thursday — Apiologists are noticing some strange “bee-haviors” among beleaguered honey bee populations across the country. “The bees are so stressed right now, they’re actually hitching rides to any fields and meadows that are more than a hundred feet from their hives,” said Dr. Marsha Melitto, an apiologist at the University of…

Satire

2 min read

Stressed-Out  Honey Bees Now So Tired, They’re Hitching Rides To Flower Fields, Apiologists Say
Stressed-Out  Honey Bees Now So Tired, They’re Hitching Rides To Flower Fields, Apiologists Say
Satire

2 min read


Published in Extra Newsfeed

·Apr 1, 2021

J&J Says Its Tainted Vaccine Mixed With Its Talcum Powder Creates “An Incredibly Effective Rust Remover”

“Using our toxic baby powder together with our bad batch of vaccines wipes away stubborn corrosion almost instantly” — Johnson & Johnson researchers announced on Thursday that mixing their tainted Covid vaccine with the company’s asbestos-laced baby powder “produces an amazingly effective rust remover that our customers are going to love.” The pharma giant said the discovery was made in one of its labs accidentally this week after some…

Humor

1 min read

J&J Says Its Tainted Vaccine Mixed With Its Talcum Powder Creates “An Incredibly Effective Rust…
J&J Says Its Tainted Vaccine Mixed With Its Talcum Powder Creates “An Incredibly Effective Rust…
Humor

1 min read


Published in Extra Newsfeed

·Mar 25, 2021

Sesame Street To Phase Out Hand-Held Muppets In Effort To “Reduce Excessive Touching” On Show

“Parents are complaining that our puppeteers’ hands are all up inside their families’ favorite characters,” says show executive — Sesame Street announced on Wednesday that it will phase out its hand-held Muppet cast to “reduce excessive puppet touching on the show.” Most of the Muppet characters are designed as hand puppets, many with rods to control and coordinate certain movements. The hands of puppeteers are typically up inside the…

Satire

1 min read

Sesame Street To Phase Out Hand-Held Muppets In Effort To “Reduce Excessive Touching” On Show
Sesame Street To Phase Out Hand-Held Muppets In Effort To “Reduce Excessive Touching” On Show
Satire

1 min read


Published in Extra Newsfeed

·Mar 19, 2021

McConnell Calls Fortified Capitol “Overdone,” Says Some Shamans And Rioters “Ought To Be Welcomed Back”

GOP leader claims Democrats “are trying to cancel out good American patriots who find an armed insurgency exhilarating” — Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) on Wednesday called increased security around the Capitol “overdone,” insisting that Democrats were making too much of the January 6th insurrection. “Enough is enough,” said the man who for months perpetuated the lie that the November election was stolen, thereby paving the way for…

Satire

2 min read

McConnell Calls Fortified Capitol “Overdone,” Says Some Shamans And Rioters “Ought To Be Welcomed…
McConnell Calls Fortified Capitol “Overdone,” Says Some Shamans And Rioters “Ought To Be Welcomed…
Satire

2 min read


Published in Extra Newsfeed

·Mar 17, 2021

Tiger Woods Shakes Off Double Compound Leg Fractures, Says He’ll Be Ready For Masters In April

Golf legend insists: “A few exposed bones aren’t going to keep me from winning my 6th green jacket” — Leaving Harbor-UCLA Medical Center on Tuesday, golf legend Tiger Woods assured reporters that his rehab was going well, “and I expect to be ready for the Masters on April 8th.” The stunning announcement not only sent shockwaves through the golf world, it immediately set Woods up as a 5–1 favorite…

Satire

2 min read

Tiger Woods Shakes Off Double Compound Leg Fractures, Says He’ll Be Ready For Masters In April
Tiger Woods Shakes Off Double Compound Leg Fractures, Says He’ll Be Ready For Masters In April
Satire

2 min read


Published in Extra Newsfeed

·Mar 13, 2021

Cuomo Denies He Was Mysterious ‘Third Man’ Heard On Infamous ‘Access Hollywood’ Tape

Was the ‘grabby’ governor together with Donald Trump and Billy Bush on that bus ? — Since it was released in October 2016, there’s been plenty of speculation about the mysterious ‘third man’ heard on the infamous “Access Hollywood” tape.

Satire

2 min read

Cuomo Denies He Was Mysterious ‘Third Man’ Heard On Infamous ‘Access Hollywood’ Tape
Cuomo Denies He Was Mysterious ‘Third Man’ Heard On Infamous ‘Access Hollywood’ Tape
Satire

2 min read


Published in Extra Newsfeed

·Mar 9, 2021

Trump Expels Ivanka And Jared From Family In Hopes of Scoring “Big Oprah Interview”

America’s least favorite couple says, “We’re devastated, but we will probably now move to England to grab some headlines” — Just days after Oprah Winfrey’s news making TV interview with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, word out of Mar-a-Lago is that impostor monarchs Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner have been expelled from the Trump “Royal-Pain-In-The-Ass” family. “Daddy threw us out with no allowance money or security, it’s horrible,” said Little…

Satire

2 min read

Trump Expels Ivanka And Jared From Family In Hopes of Scoring “Big Oprah Interview”
Trump Expels Ivanka And Jared From Family In Hopes of Scoring “Big Oprah Interview”
Satire

2 min read


Published in Extra Newsfeed

·Mar 4, 2021

Biden Proposes Sending “The Wheel And Fire” To Texas To Help Neanderthal State Enter 21st Century

President also ordered FEMA to instruct Texans on the benefits of shoes and clothing — After saying that Texans suffered from “Neanderthal thinking” earlier in the week, President Joe Biden doubled down on Thursday ordering FEMA to send the state “the wheel and fire, and instruct Texas residents on the benefits of shoes and clothing.”

Satire

2 min read

Biden Proposes Sending “The Wheel And Fire” To Texas To Help Neanderthal State Enter 21st Century
Biden Proposes Sending “The Wheel And Fire” To Texas To Help Neanderthal State Enter 21st Century
Satire

2 min read


Published in Extra Newsfeed

·Mar 2, 2021

Supreme Court Rules That Sexual Harassment From “A Republican Or A Democrat Is Equally Boorish”

SCOTUS says that “Creeps from one political party are not superior to creeps from another party” — In a major ruling on Tuesday, the Supreme Court determined that “a sexual predator is a sexual predator no matter his political party.” The decision related to ongoing accusations of sexual harassment against Republican Donald Trump and Democrat Andrew Cuomo. Justice Sotomayor wrote: “Just because you are a Democrat does…

Satire

1 min read

Supreme Court Rules That Sexual Harassment From “A Republican Or A Democrat Is Equally Boorish”
Supreme Court Rules That Sexual Harassment From “A Republican Or A Democrat Is Equally Boorish”
Satire

1 min read

Allan Ishac

Allan Ishac

17.9K Followers

Writer. Satirist. Author. Cyclist. Visit me at allanishac.com.

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