Move comes after billionaire founder Bernie Marcus says he’ll fund Trump even if he’s convicted — In a move meant to underline HOME DEPOT’s enduring commitment to a four-time indicted, coup-inciting megalomaniac, its founding fruitcake has announced that he’s changing the name of the building supply behemoth to HOME DESPOT. “Our core customer is a blue-collar, middle-aged white man who loves Donald Trump and his autocratic…

‘Taylor Made turned my devastating car crash into a plus with this amazing new putter,’ said Woods — Tiger Woods won’t let multiple leg injuries from a rollover car crash in 2021 prevent him from competing at the highest level. That’s why he’ll be trying out a never-before-seen putter at the PNC Championship on Dec. 16–17. “It’s a little odd-looking, I admit, but this innovative ‘crutch putter’ has…

#666 would be a fitting reminder of the hell in store for America if he gets another chance — Donald Trump has more caps for sale than the peddler in the classic kid’s book. But his caps are way more dangerous. The MAGA cap and #45 lid are familiar, but some other numbers would be more honest on the head. #666 — Associated with Satan, many people avoid things…

An equal percentage claim they can teach an old dog new tricks, while more than 30% can squeeze blood out of a turnip — A recent study throws cold water on a number of “truisms” that, surprisingly, turn out to be not dyed in the wool. 92% said that his bite is much worse than his bark, especially if he has rabies Almost 99% of men, but only 22% of women, had blown smoke…

By cuddling all 56 of his kitty companions, that’s how — How does a guy engaged in a dozen dogfights every day get any sleep at night? The answer, it turns out, is cats. Lots of them. Donald Trump is no menacing macho man, he’s a closet Cat Lady. He has an estimated 56 cats — 24 living at Mar-A-Lago, 16…

Writing is an act of courage, and this is our time to act courageously — Writers are the keepers of history. We are the guardians of truth, defenders of the facts, the watchdogs and protectors of free speech. Our talents, as well as our pens and keypads, were given to us so that we could accurately and consistently record what we see and hear around…

House Speaker says he not only stands behind Trump, ‘I would happily let him stand behind me and hump me raw’ — House Speaker Mike Johnson met Donald Trump at The Lyin’ King’s home in Florida on Monday, where he drooled, smooched, caressed, and bent over for the former president in a show of fealty and affection. “Some people call him fat,” said Johnson after the visit, “but I think of His…

Conservative comedians are rare because humor evaporates inside the Red Zone — I have been a top writer in satire and humor on Medium and other online forums for years. To get there, I studied thousands of humor posts, brilliantly funny blogs, side-splitting articles, and listened to hours of laugh-a-minute podcasts from masters like Andy Borowitz, Sarah Silverman, Bill Burr, and more. …

“If anyone can shed some light on this crazy new fad, we hope this whiz kid can,” says tech giant’s CEO — “We’ve been running blind with this AI thing for over a year now and we still don’t have a clue,” said Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella. “When we learned that this brainiac was available, we scrambled to get the kid.” He’s speaking about Sam Altman, a tech wunderkind who’s been dabbling…