Truth In Satire

8 Things Found During FBI Raid Of Trump’s Personal Lawyer That No One Expected

Michael D. Cohen, the president’s attorney, was hiding a trove of incriminating evidence, including Stormy Daniel’s 40DD bra

Mr. Cohen, left, was entrusted with many of Donald Trump skeletons, including evidence of the president’s spanking by porn actress Stormy Daniels. (Credit: viralnova.site)

An early morning F.B.I. raid on the office and hotel room of Donald Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael D. Cohen, has turned up boxes of evidence that could point to serious crimes by the president, as well as violations of his marriage vows.

According to sources inside the F.B.I., there were eight things in particular that were unexpected and got the attention of agents on the scene. Here is a partial list of the controversial evidence seized during the extensive search:

1. Porn star Stormy Daniel’s size 40DD bra: Agents were surprised not only by the discovery of a bra belonging to the adult film actress who claims to have had an affair with Mr. Trump, but also by the extraordinary size of the cups. “We know Ms. Daniels has gigantic breasts but the supportive underwiring on this sexy lace bra really took our breath away,” said one agent.
2. A rolled up copy of Esquire Magazine: According to Stormy Daniels, she gave Mr. Trump “a few swats” on the butt with a rolled up magazine that had his…