Truth In Satire

72 Birthday Gifts For The Wannabe Dictator Donald Trump

The president turns 72 today and here are all the gifts — one for every year of his infamous life — on the aspiring tyrant’s wish list

What do you call a dictator on his birthday? Dangerous, as always. (Credit: cnn.com)

The faux POTUS celebrates his 72nd birthday today, June 14th.

He’ll have a special dictator’s birthday party later this afternoon complete with arsenic-laden cake for all the guests.

He also has a wish list of 72 great gifts ideas for a budding oppressor. Want to get on his good side, maybe become one of his elite oligarchs? Just order any of the goodies below at Despot.com and send it to President Adolf Twitler, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C.:

He’s coming for your freedoms. (Credit: www.thedailybeast.com)

1. Smith & Wesson sidearm to wear like a puffed up general at public events
2. Robert Mueller’s balls in a glass jar
3. A big nuclear button, the biggest one they sell on Amazon
4. Wall plaque embossed with the phrase “Do what I say, not what I do.”
5. Weekly deliveries of the president’s favorite…