Truth In Satire

7 Tips That Could Save Your Life If Trump’s Imprisonment Leads To Civil War

“My fightin’ followers will be out in force if lefty liberals try to lock me up,” said the four-time indicted ex-president

Get ready for fisticuffs (or death) if the ultra-indicted ex-prez is imprisoned. (Photo Credit: CTV News)

“I don’t want to have to draw my rifle,” said Georgia state Sen. Colton Moore recently in a shocking rant, “but I will if you touch my Donnie.”

The GA senator’s warning seemed to echo those of many diehard Trumpists (these have included NRA members, white supremacists, fundamentalist Christians, and other gun-toting ultra-conservative factions in the past) who argue that jailing Donald “Inmate Number P01135809” Trump could inspire violence and an insurrection.

But experts in nonviolence shared seven surefire tips to ensure your family’s safety in the event that a Proud Boy parade cruises through your neighborhood hootin’, hollering and honking while defending the indicted man they love.

Placing a NASCAR racer outside your home is a certain defense against attacking Trumpians. (Photo Credit: AP)

1. Park a NASCAR in your driveway. A great way to throw redneckers off your scent is to park a NASCAR Chevrolet, Dodge or Ford in your…